If you follow me, you see the uplifting and fun parts of my life. You do not see me post about working with people in the trudges of their trauma, helping them on their healing journey. Why? Because it is personal and very sacred work and an honor to be asked to share in their healing.
I have seen an influx of people posting on their social media about gas and food prices in anticipation of things changing with the next president coming into office. And those who want to offer insight into their voting or those who want to offer an olive branch. Just a thought, but if you have to do that, you might want to ask yourself where the guilty consciousness might be coming from.
So, I am posting my experiences over the past few days just so I can check in next year, too.
Have you ever had to sit with someone in their trauma and hold space as they process?
Social Work 101: There is no “but,” or they didn’t mean that—besides, how do you know if they meant it or not? Nor is there an interruption of feelings. Or telling people what you really think and how you see it. It is helping people find their way and validating their experience.
This week, I had a parent ask me how I recommend they teach morals and values to their child when the presidential elect is mimicking giving a blow job to a microphone, and kids at school now think it is funny. Yes, if a teacher, a coach, or a school administrator did the same, their job would be in jeopardy. If it happened on the job, we still do have such a thing called sexual harassment.
Again, no buts, or he didn’t really mean that. If it was not meant, it should not have happened.
This week, I heard from my gay friends who are fearful of what may happen in the future. And another whose daughter and daughter-in-law met with an attorney to make sure their children are protected in case gay marriage is in jeopardy. Imagine having to adopt your child because of the fear that your rights may be taken away.
Sit with that for a minute. And if you are still wanting to say but and bring up Christianity, you may want to go back and read and reread Matthew 7:12. If you need help interpreting and understanding what that means, ask for help. And for those who practice another religion or have no religion, that is perfectly ok, too.
This week, I have had numerous clients and several new ones reach out. Why? Because those that have a history of molestation, sexual assault, or rape are having PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder, in case you don’t know what that is, look it up) triggers because our country voted back in a president who has had at least 26 (!!!!) women accuse him of sexual misconduct including rape.
And for those who have told me they do not believe the accusations or want to point fingers at the other side—what makes you so uncomfortable that you cannot acknowledge that someone is fearful for their safety? One in five women have experienced completed or attempted rape, while nearly a quarter of men experience some form of sexual violence during their lifetime (National Sexual Violence Resource Center).
Sit with that one for the next four years. And maybe don’t change the subject or say he didn’t mean it when someone confides in you that they have a sexual assault history. It doesn’t go over well.
And just saying…as someone who worked with sex offenders for over ten years, where there is smoke, there is fire. If you do not know how offenses are plea-bargained within our court system, you may want to look into that also.
For the sick bastard who sent me messages this past week, including a dick pic and a description of what he wanted to do with me. If you are taking clues that you can act any way you want and get away with it, the cops have a report and your pic. I am not a victim.
So, I am sharing this because it has been a rough week holding space and being a safe haven. I want to be able to look back next year and say, wow, what a year! Look how much better things are. But I’m not looking at gas and the price of groceries because, fortunately, I had parents who taught me how to budget and curtail my spending when needed, not blame other people for the rise in prices. I was taught empathy and treating others how I want to be treated.
Just a reminder for those who may get pissed off from reading this—this is my reality for the last few days. I will continue to be a safe place for all. I will continue to uphold my mission to help people on their healing journey. And I am turning off the comments because if you have a but, I have a right to let you sit with it and let it simmer for a while.